Merciless interrogator Dr. Teal has been brought in to lead the latest round of brutal questioning after a tip from a well known scrapbook gallery lead to the abduction of a “Mr. Wow!”  Allegations link “Mr. Wow!” to a ‘cutting edge’ scrapbook website offering free digital scrapbook kits and other digital freebies.

Below is an excerpt of the session between Mr. Wow! and Dr. Teal:

Dr. Teal: Let me get something straight. Who is giving away this free digi stuff?

Mr. Wow: Yes.

Dr. Teal: No, the person’s name.

Mr. Wow: Who.

Dr. Teal: Who is giving away this free digital stuff?

Mr. Wow: That’s correct.

Dr. Teal: I’m asking YOU who’s giving away this free digital scrapbook stuff.

Mr. Wow: That’s the person’s name.

Dr. Teal: That’s who’s name?

Mr. Wow: Yes.

Dr. Teal: Look, all I’m trying to find out is what’s the person’s name giving away the huge bundle of free digital scrapbook kits and stuff.

Mr. Wow: No. What is giving away a scrapbook.

Dr. Teal: I’m not asking you who’s giving away a scrapbook.

Mr. Wow: Who’s giving away free digital scrapbook kits.

Dr Teal: One free scrapbook thing at a time.

Mr. Wow: Well don’t change the people around.

Dr. Teal: I’m not changing anybody!

Mr. Wow: Take it easy buddy, you’re going to lose a few layers.

Dr. Teal: I’m only asking you, who’s the person giving away the free digital scrapbook kits and stuff.

Mr. Wow: That’s right.

Dr. Teal: Alright then, when is the free digital scrapbook stuff being given away.

Mr. Wow: No. When is giving away a free scrapbook membership.

Dr. Teal: I’m not asking you who’s giving away a free scrapbook membership.

Mr. Wow: Who is giving away free digital scrapbook kits.

Dr. Teal: That’s what I’m asking, who is giving away the free stuff.

Mr. Wow: That’s right.

Dr. Teal: Look, I get my photos out, I want to do some scrapbooking, I check my email and I see an email about who is giving away free digital scrapbook kits.

Mr. Wow: Now that’s the first thing that you’ve said right.

Dr. Teal: I don’t even know what I’m talking about.

Mr. Wow: That’s all you have to do.

Dr. Teal: Is check my email to see who is giving away free scrapbook kits and stuff.

Mr. Wow: Yes!

Dr. Teal: Now I know who?

Mr. Wow: Obviously.

Dr. Teal: Obviously?

Mr. Wow: Obviously.

Dr. Teal: So I check my email and I see Obviously is giving away free stuff.

Mr. Wow: No. Who is giving away free scrapbook stuff.

Dr. Teal: Obviously.

Mr. Wow: That’s it.

Dr. Teal: That’s what I said!

Mr. Wow: You ask me.

Dr. Teal: Who is giving away free digital scrapbook stuff?

Mr. Wow: Obviously.

Dr. Teal: Now you ask me.

Mr. Wow: Who is giving away free digital scrapbook stuff?

Dr. Teal: Obviously.

Mr. Wow: That’s it.

Dr. Teal: Wow! Same as you. Same as YOU! I see who is giving away free digital scrapbook kits. What is giving away a free scrapbook. And free stuff is being given away by Obviously - I don’t know. When? I ask. And you say he’s giving away a membership. Because why? Wow! Now, I don’t give a scrap! Just give me the whereabouts of the free stuff!

Mr. Wow: What?

Dr. Teal: I said I don’t give a scrap! Just give me the whereabouts of the free stuff!

Mr. Wow: That’s different. Whereabouts is giving away something even more valuable than the others.

MORE TO COME STAY TUNED

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Posted by admin as Digital Scrapbooking, Scrapbooking, Scrapbook Websites, Captured, Free Digital Scrapbook Kits at 12:27 PM EDT

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S.B.I. REPORT

TOP SECRET Investigation
of
Scrapano Gang

The First Scrapbook Website of its Kind is Coming Soon

Over the last nine months a top secret investigation has been underway into the underground world of scrapbooking and a group now being called the Scrap-ano Gang. The culprit behind certain rumors certain to send a scrap-wave into the scrapbooking community has been a little known company named Green Sneakers. It appears they have assembled an extraordinary group of digital street-toughs, scrapbook designers, seedy craft and scrapbook industry veterans, hooligan programmers, and venture capitalist subversives to create a soon-to-be-revealed website that may very well be the first of its kind on the internet.

And just like a baby growing in utero for nine months with anxious parents eagerly awaiting its arrival, so too their nine month scrapbook baby is just about ready to enter the world as well. It appears everyone involved has been sitting on their tongues dying to share the news, but have been held in utmost secrecy. Some have even been held in sequestered offices unable to mingle with the public. Rumors of foul play involving the disappearance of one digital designer have also been alledged.

S.B.I. Investigation Reveals Background Information

For those of you unfamiliar with Green Sneakers their “first baby” became known as the world’s fastest envelope template – the one that doesn’t require weapons like scissors or pencils for tracing – it goes by the name Kreate-a-lope Envelope Maker, aka “Cool Handmade-Lope.” This little wonder was invented by accident, found itself in the mysterious workings of underground kingpin, “Coincidence” and landed on QVC in 1995 like a pair of cement shoes.

Top secret files indicate that over a million templates have been sold since that time in a span of over 200 television appearances in four countries and through 14,000 stores in 22 countries. As a result of this ‘revolutionary’ little template the inventor of the Kreate-a-lope and GreenSneakers’ founder, Nick Romer, aka “TV Boy,” has been quoted, “I’m dumbstruck to find myself as the longest running craft personality on QVC – far from what I envisioned for myself when I was low man on a chain gang selling energy conservation during the day and fixing up houses at night when the Kreate-a-lope first came to me.” But he’s no dummy. Beware of this crafty, glue gun toting paper ripping “I’m ready for my close-up” dirtbag.

Digital Scrapbooking Takes Scrapbooking Industry by Storm
“TV Boy” is on the Loose

But enough about the past, the future is at stake. It appears subversive activities have been going on in the area of innovation. This little company with a big TV presence doesn’t like to follow. They like to lead. Service to others, all the good things yada yada.

Hours of illegal phone taps by the Administration have been leaked from this underworld, “One day I was in a conversation with a well traveled scrapbooker on the lam for using an acid based glue on a photograph,” the voice continues, “and she mentioned digital scrapbooking.”

“That’s all I needed to hear and dove in thinking we would be first and bought about a hundred domain names like digitalscrapbookkits.com – a good one – and yourmammaswebsite.com – a ridiculous waste of money that was abandoned faster than yesterday’s paper patterns.”

After a scuffle in the background and a break in the tapes, the voice goes on to say, “But through this process I soon learned about the digital scrapbooking world and how it was already underway with or without my awful domain names. This fascinating ‘niche’ - as the industry veterans are now calling it, I learned, is one of the fastest growing segments of scrapbooking.”

Is it true? Is TV Boy on the loose with something new? We investigated further….

Profile: The Digital Scrapbooker

Be on the lookout. Investigative research revealed a whole segment of shady no-gooders, low-lifes, shut-ins and the like. Digital Scrapbookers - filth. This is what we discovered about these angry co-conspirators:

1. Digital Scrapbookers are smart. They LOVE free stuff!
2. Digital Scrapbookers think they can just Ctrl C and Ctrl V everything. They see something in the distance and they think they can just “Zoom-in.” When they drop their favorite vase they think they can hit the “undo” button. They see billboards and can name the font. They would prefer a Wacom tablet over jewelry for their birthdays.
3. Digital Scrapbookers want to share their digital work but all the photo sharing possibilities available to them are complicated to use, open to the public, and/or inundated with advertisements. They want to share their scrapbook pages in a place of their own that is easy to use.
4. Most Digital Scrapbookers don’t want to learn computer programming like html.
5. The average Digital Scrapbooker buys at least three kits a month at a cost of about $5 each

Profile: The Paper Scrapbooker

There’s no shortage of chatters in this seedy crew. Two Peas, you name it. VICIOUS! Conventions – the buzz around the make-and-take table is enough to curl your paper.

Proceed with caution, this group of co-conspirators is armed and dangerous, they’ll deckle you! Read entire profile completely before attempting to approach any of these types.

1. Paper scrappers secretly want to sell all their stuff on ebay and join an online gang.
2. Despite their tough outward appearance, over 60% of paper scrappers suffer from “Scra-phobia” – the fear of getting a paper cut.
3. The paper scrapbooker wishes they could share their photos with family and friends in a digital scrapbook but without the hassle of buying software, downloading kits, and the torture table known as “the learning curve.”
4. Paper Scrapbookers love the look of scrapbooking online but digital kits sound complicated.
5. They have tons of paper pages that they would like to share on the web.

SPY PHOTOS Reveal Plot The entire subversive scrapbooking community believes that a new website launch is inevitable. TV Boy can’t be stopped. . In the words of one unnamed message boarder, “It appears as if an imminent wave effecting all scrapsurfers is on the horizon.” . SPY PHOTOS reveal for the first time a plot to enhance the world of scrapbooking: .      .

Stakeout Planned

Phone taps from several hours ago lead investigators to believe that the target location will be announced within days. If you’re on the list you will be in the know.

Recently Captured

“Acid”
Serving a life sentence for yellowing, cracking and
peeling paper in 474 countries. Responsible for ruining
millions of scrapbooks and photographs.

Still on the Loose

“Scrapella”
Wanted for the crimes of causing painful paper cuts, purposely
mismatching color palettes, creating chaos at overnight crops,
and hijacking a truckload of shimmer sheets in Austin, Texas.
Ex-girl-fiend of TV Boy.

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Posted by admin as Digital Scrapbooking, Scrapbooking, Wanted, Captured at 3:56 PM EST

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